Christmas

We spent this year's Christmas in Eden, Utah with the Clegg's They have a nice big beautiful home to house all of Spencer's 8 siblings and thier families. It's a mad house but that's the way we like it. Parker was in heaven with lots of toys from santa and grammy and grandpa and lots of cousins to play with. Here we are (yes Ben is in there- under the blanket) all bundled up for a sleigh ride!

Parker understood the concept of Santa this year. A little boy really makes Christmas magical.

Parker got a easel from grammy and grandpa and he loves lining up all the letters.

There as LOTS of snow in Eden and we had lots of fun playing in it.

We went on a sleigh ride, inside a tepee and warmed our hands in front of a fire- Parker has that part down as you can see.

Grammy with little Ben. Ben had a good old Christmas. He stayed up all night long for four nights in a row. Literally, he was up from 10pm-5am. It was death for Spencer and I- we took shifts. And I was about to throw in the towel and let him scream when we found out he had an earache! No wonder. We're back to sleeping much better. Thank goodness. It made for an interesting Christmas for Spencer and I. :)

Oleah and Stu Christmas morning

Parker and Cassidy- he loves his cousins!

Baths, shaving, poop and random

Here are some pictures of the boys taking bath's (this was when we were still giving Ben sponge baths because of his casts, the best part of his braces is he gets to take REAL baths now. But thought these were cute pictures...

Parker loves shaving like his daddy. And I think this picture is hilarious because of his face- we didn't tell him to do that, he just knew what to do after watching daddy(and don't worry, there is no razor on his razor)

potty training has slowly begun. We did get one poop in the toilet and a couple pees!! YEAH! But since then he hasn't been that interested...hmm. We haven't made the switch to big boy pants yet but looks like that is on the agenda.

My favorite time of day--- the stroller ride. Parker points out all the signs and cars and Ben, well Ben sleeps. :)

cute Ben

Club Feet casting and progress

At the beginning of December Ben had a little surgery to lengthen his Achilles tendon- they actually cut it. This would be major surgery for an adult, but little babies heal so fast it's not that bad! The surgery went well, they cut his tendon, then moved his feet into a pretty crazy (and very uncomfortable looking) position and then put them in a cast so they would stay there. They do this so tendon can grow back longer (with club feet the tendon is often too short). After 3 weeks Ben got those casts off- this is him getting his LAST set of casts off...

Now Ben wears these braces- we call it his snowboard. I was excited about the braces and they are better than casts but still pretty cumbersome. Oh well, he's a trooper and doing well. His feet are (amazingly) relatively "normal" now. While the casts were to move his feet, the brace keeps them in place so they don't move back (it's like the retainer after you have braces). He will wear this 23 hours a day (all day except for baths) for 3 months and then we will go to just naps and night for 2 years. We're getting there!

Mom

I had a hard day one day this week.
Parker was out of sorts and tantrum throwing.
Ben seemed to forget how to fall asleep and cried more than usual
I was needed by two different boys for two different reasons in two different ways and both equally important
And there’s not enough of me sometimes to meet all these needs.
But then there was the moment at the end of the day
I turned on some music because we needed some company.
Ben in my pouch, like a kangaroo mother.
Alanis. And I felt like dancing so I did.
Parker looked at me and smiled- he needed no invitation.
So there we were in the living room- hands held, Ben in a pouch, dancing in circles
And it’s moments like those that make being a mother

the most incredible gift I’ve ever been given.

Poor Ben

Poor little Ben has had quite an eventful 3 weeks of life so far (3 weeks today)! On Saturday night Spencer felt Ben's head and said "this kid is burning up!" (trust him and not me to figure it out). Anyway, we took a temp that was 100.4 and called the doctor who told us to take him to the hospital. They took his temperature there at 100.8 and admitted the poor guy. In an infant as young as Ben any kind of fever is cause for concern and anything over about 100 they will admit to the hospital. so we spent until 3am Sunday morning getting tests done on Ben that were not fun for him- spinal tap, catheter, blood drawn, tubes stuck down his nose and into his freaking lungs (when the tube went in Spencer said out loud- "that is not supposed to go down that far!") The poor guy. We were admitted to the hospital and spent 36 hours there while they waited for test results and monitored Ben. All the tests came back negative and because Parker was sick last week with a bad cold including a fever and congestion (both of which Ben has) it makes sense Ben got what Parker had- only because he is so smsall it was pretty bad. So after Ben's fever went down and they watched him for awhile they let us go home early. He's doing better now. A HUGE thanks to my neighbor Adrienne who came and slept on our very uncomfortable couch Sunday night to be with Parker until Spencer got back from the hospital at 4am. What would we have done without her!

So in Ben's short three weeks of life he's had every test imaginable (and I thought immunizations were hard to watch!), he's had a scary hospital stay and he's now on he got his third set of casts for clubbed feet today! Hopefully we'll have a better second month!

Parker playing with animal crackers at the hospital- he was really good, cute guy.

Halloween

I love Halloween. This year our family went as Winnie the Pooh caracters or as Parker calls him- "Winnie and the Pooh" Parker was Tigger, Spencer was Christopher Robin, our little surprise was piglet, and I was Winnie the Pooh. We thought I would be still be very pregnant at this point so my belly was going to be perfect for Pooh's belly- but I guess we had a change of plans.

Our neighborhood is aweome and does this big dinner and little activies at different houses. It was fun and me and Ben even got out for a couple of hours. Parker loved the idea of candy at each door! Though he didn't quite understand the concept of hurrying to the next door to get more candy, he wanted to eat each candy after each house instead. But Spencer and I weren't complaining too much- that way he didn't take home too much candy! He had fun though. He and daddy went to most of the doors alone and Ben and I went home because we didn't want the little piglet out too much. It was fun though. By the way- look closely at the picture of Spencer and Parker from the back. Spencer is in MY shorts and I seriusly laughed everytime I looked at him.

And this is Parker in his "big boy bed" we put it up for a few days because he asked for it. This is what I found when I went in to check on him- stuff everywhere! At least he went to sleep! After a few days of the big boy bed, he asked for his crib back so we put back up the crib (I was happy to do it!) Parker wanted to be a big boy when Ben first entered the picture but now he wants to be a little baby again- he's even sucking on a binky once in a while which he didn't even do as a baby! I think he's a little confused poor guy. We sure love them both though!

Club Feet

Today we took Ben to get casted for his feet. I thought it would just be a consultation appointment but they went ahead and did the casts right then. We went to Shriners hospital. First of all, let me just say how amazing that place is. It is a children’s hospital in the avenues that is run by the Shriners (a tier of the masons). There are other Shriner’s hospital similar to this one throughout the US but this one serves all different parts of the west- Colorado, Wyoming, Utah etc. They deal mostly with orthopedics- joints, bones and muscles. And they are 100% free. We do not pay a DIME, nor does anyone who goes there. Haylee (my youngest sister who was born without an arm) actually went there when she was little. I remember my mom used to take her up to SL once a week to go to Shriner’s. She was fitted with prosthetic limbs and she got a new one every time she grew out of the old (and those things are PRICEY), She received physical and occupational therapy and one-on-one care. And now being a beneficiary of Shriners hospital myself I am even more amazed at what they do there. The doctors were INCREDIBLE. They were so caring and walked us through the whole process. It was so touching. While we were there we saw children with many other different disabilities, some were in wheelchairs, some had club feet like Ben. I guess every Tues morning they have “club feet clinic” and that’s when they work with children like Ben with club feet. They said right now they are seeing 12 children. Some are from Utah but most are from other states. If we were living in another state Shriners helps with transportation and accomodations, they are seriously amazing. But we live 10 minutes away- what a blessing. What an absolute blessing. I was sort of overwhelmed with emotion as I was there- overwhelmed with the needs of some very sweet children, including my own, and then just amazed at the generosity and kindness of others- the Shriners who contribute and make it possible to run this entire hospital- it is overwhelming to me and so completely touching.

We sat with a doctor who answered all of our questions. No one knows what causes club feet. This renowned doctor, Doctor Ponseti, who the doctors at Shriners have trained under thinks it’s something with myosin- a part of the muscle-that has sort of malfunctioned in the leg and foot. Some people have said positioning in the womb but this doctor really thinks it’s something more genetic with mysoin. Anyway, they really aren’t sure. But it’s about 1/1000 kids who are born with club feet and most all of the cases are totally correctable.

So the process- First: casting for 5-20 weeks- which means that every Tuesday we will go in and they will take off Ben’s casts and we will be able to bathe him and then they will put new ones on. Each cast moves his feet just a little bit more (sort of like braces) until they are in a good position. Step #2. Possible cut of the Achilles tendon. This happens in about 90% of the cases in club feet. That tendon is too tight which is part of what pulls the feet inward so they cut the tendon which grows back lengthened (like a salamanders tail). Finally step #3- braces. After the casting and cut of the tendon, Ben will most likely wear braces on his feet 24 hours a day for about 2 or 3 months. Then he will cut back to wearing the brace only during naps and at night. Ideally this is done until age 4 but the doctor said most kids make it to about 2 or 2 ½ . There is chance of recurrence in which kids go back to wearing the braces or casting if necessary but after age 7 the chance of recurrance is very very small. So it’s treatable completely and Ben will probably be totally fine in the long run. But getting those casts on today was so sad to me. I held him as they put the casts on and he cried. They go up his entire leg and he’s so uncomfortable. I imagine it hurts too to have them put his foot in a position he’s not used to being in. Plus he loved having his legs curled up by his body and now they are stuck in two heavy casts that he can not move at all. He has cried and cried today, this cry of pain and it has broken my heart.

It’s interesting what life teaches you though. This experience is so minor in comparison to what so many children and parents experience. And I am only getting a taste of the feelings these parents experience as they watch their children in pain or as they see other people stare at their children- a reminder that indeed their child is different. But my heart has been softened today and I have felt compelled to count my blessings, the way God helps us in our lives, and the goodness of other people. We hear so much in the world today of what is going wrong- especially right now with all our politics, economics, foreign policies…but today I was the benefactor of some incredibly generous people I do not even know who will help my son heal his feet. Today I saw children who suffer and parents whose hearts break to watch them suffer but who keep going cheerfully. Today I watched my son cry in pain because his legs hurt but I could only be grateful that we have the medicine and technology to fix what his body did not give him and that he will be able to run someday. Today I was touched by my two year old's look of concern when he saw his week old little brother in casts “Ben have an owie mommy?” Today I felt the sweet spirit of an infant as he cried and then fell peacefully asleep on my chest. Today amidst pain and need I saw the hand of God.